“What the fuck is wrong with me??!!”
I ask myself that. A LOT.
“What is wrong with me?”
“What is wrong with me?”
“What is wrong with ME?!!”
Over and over and over and over and over.
The answers vary.
“You’re stupid.”
“You’re lazy.”
“You’re fat.”
It’s the question that drives us. -The Matrix
Then I heard this, “OMG, you are soooo stoooopid! LISTEN to what you are asking yourself!”
What The Fuck Is Wrong With Me?
What is wrong with me is that I keep asking myself what is wrong with me. I don’t even question the question. That’s some Matrix shit, right there. At some point I’ve made this agreement that if something is wrong, then it must be because something is wrong with me.
It’s Time To Change The Question
What if I started asking myself a different question?
I could flip the question on its head: “What is right with me?”
Or what if I asked myself “What can I do now?” That one is kinda empowering.
Or maybe, “What could be different?” or
“What do you want?”
Answer In The Positive
This part is critical. I can create laundry lists of what I don’t want all damn day. But what I do want, that is some meaningful shit and meaningful shit has a way of driving us.
Meaningful shit gets the job done.
GEEZUZ! Well, that’s mind fuck #2,849 identified.
Mind Fuck #2,849 We don’t know what we want.
Time to get a destination in mind if I’m ever going to find a way to get there!
I wake up everyday pissed about the condition of my home. Seriously. It’s like someone picked up my house and shook it. There is crap EVERYWHERE.
Everyday, I start my day, pissed off…at myself.
THAT cannot be healthy.
If I really want those things taken care of then I can either take care of them or hire someone to do it.
“But I can’t afford a maid!”
Enter Logic Blocks & Limiting Beliefs
Nothing keeps us from having what we want more than a good Logic Block. It’s like a cock block, but for your soul. Your brain starts making up bullshit excuses disguised as logic.
And we listen to it.
And we go no further.
And we stew in our self-created misery wondering HOW to change things.
And feel helpless. (and in my case, lazy and stupid.)
The truth is, it is an excuse and it’s all crap.
Logic block.
We all do it.
ALL THE TIME.
I, the talented, life-fucker-upper that I am, attach a limiting belief (aka self-created bullshit) to my logic block, just to seal the deal.
“I can’t afford a maid.”
The power of attaching emotion to a Logic Block is some powerful voo-doo.
You see, I attached “a maid” to my logic block. I didn’t have to do that. I could have just said, “I can’t afford it.” By adding “a maid,” I get to pile all my “I’m not good enough” emotions on top of my Logic Block. It’s a tried a true recipe for making sure you stay stuck – right where you are.
Logic Block: I can’t afford it. It’s an easy way to make an excuse seem like a well thought out reason.
Limiting Belief: I don’t deserve a maid…which is really grounded in”I’m not good enough” If that ain’t self-created crap, then I don’t know what is.
It’s Time To Get Real
Identify your logic blocks. Start recognizing when you do that shit. Ditto for limiting beliefs.
Notice the thoughts that are running around in that head of yours. Then, go back to asking yourself…
“What do I want?”
Well, I don’t want to keep waking up feeling like a total looser or like I’m walking though my life oblivious to the catastrophe that my house has become. I want a nice, clean house AND I don’t want to be the one to do it.
Sooooo, what can I afford?
My sanity?
My feelings of self-worth?
What is it costing me to NOT hire someone?
EVERYTHING.
Desire + Emotion = Action
Know what you really want.
In this instance, what I want is to stop being pissed off about my house being disaster. Simply put, I want to stop being angry with myself. AH! Now that’s a juicy nugget. I want to stop being angry with myself. And all this time, I thought it was the condition of the house that was making me bitchy.
My, oh my, how talented we are at self-deception.
Without introspection all we get is self-deception. {tweet this}
Fuck the laundry, not being angry with myself, now THAT is something meaningful.
I wonder…how will I feel when I’m not angry?
Happy!
I’ll feel happy.
Or at the very least, happier, and I’m fine with leveling up my current state of happiness. Who isn’t?
What do I want?
I want to no longer be angry with myself about the condition of my house.
I want to be happy with myself for doing what it takes to please me.
BINGO!
Those are some thoughts I can get behind.
Those are some thoughts that powerfully define my desire
Those are some thoughts that will get me to do meaningful shit (in this instance, hire a maid).
And that meaningful shit will ensure that I am no longer angry with myself for hating housework. Hey! I just learned something about me. I knew I hated housework. I didn’t realize I hated myself for hating housework.
I {heart} learning about me. I’m constantly surprising myself.
So Now What?
Now it is time to act.
When you figure all this shit out then you are, dare I say it, EMPOWERED to do something – and you should have the drive and emotional fortitude backing you to get it done!
Guess, I’ll be cutting something non-essential from the budget (we all have non-essentials in the budget). Or maybe, offer a trade for services (where there is a will, there is a way). No matter what, ACTION is the only way out.
Let Me Explain…No, There Is To Much. Let Me Sum Up.
- Change the question. No matter what the question is, it isn’t getting us anywhere.
- Answer in the positive. Because knowing what we don’t want isn’t going to be meaningful.
- Know what you want. Meaning is what gets shit done. It is the force behind drive.
- Eliminate logic blocks. (I can’t afford it. I don’t have time. I’ll look silly. I might get embarrassed.) All non-sense. Call yourself on your own bullshit. PLEASE.
- Notice limiting beliefs. Recognize this crap and stop it dead in its tracks!
- Target the desired outcome. Ask yourself again, “What do I want?” (and this time, get really honest with yourself)
- Evaluate the cost. “What is it costing me?” (Sanity? Happiness? Joy? Love?) Attach these emotions to your desired outcome.
- Act. It’s time to get that ass in gear and make a difference in our own lives. No one else is going to do this shit for us.
The Truth Is…
It’s not just a messy house that has me pissed off in the morning. It’s lots of things.
There are things that I am not doing that would make me happier.
Things I want but I don’t allow myself to have.
I’m not talking about material things (though, that happens too) I’m talking about the BIG things. At the end of the day, what I am denying myself is joy.
My mom used to tell me:
So yeah, I’m denying myself joy.
Connect The Dots
Just going through the process of really asking myself what I want led to A LOT of self-discovery…and that was about something as simple as hiring help. What about the BIG stuff? What about the really importing dreams that live inside your heart? True learning is transference of knowledge. If going through this process can get me to a place of action on something so small, what do you think it could do for something really BIG?
That’s right. Now you’re getting it.
You see, it is not the perceived size of the problem that matters (that’s perception and perception is always bullshit) it is us that is the problem. As soon as we can get honest with ourelves about what we really want and what it is costing ourselves not to have it, we can then become motivated to act. It sounds so simple when you boil it down like that, doesn’t it?
How are you denying yourself joy?
I’m sure there are lots of things that are making you unhappy too. What question keeps running around in your head? How do you respond? What question is driving (or parking) your life? If I had to guess, there’s a “Top 10 Things We Ask Ourselves That Fuck Up Our Life” list waiting to happen. After all, we aren’t all that different. Seriously.
Take a moment and share below. We all feel better when we know we are not alone in this.
Mind F*%k #5,752: Believing Your Own Bullshit
I am so proud of you!
Thank you…I’m kinda proud of me too!